My testimony

In November 2003 I had a breast control (mammogram) and unfortunately for me they found out there was something wrong. I was sent to the hospital where I had an appointment with the surgeon. Photos were made, a scan and a biopsy to take some tissue out. In this particular week in November I was running to and from the hospital. The 25th of November I heard the results of the tests. They told me that the tissue they removed was JUST tissue and not abnormal. But . . . the photo and echo (kind of scan) shows that the shape was malignant. So they wanted to remove the lump (it is ca. 3 a 4 cm) and than again they will observe it for a few days to see if it really is malignant or not. At the next appointment the surgeon told me that unfortunately the results were bad. The tumor was 7 x 5,5 x 2,5 cm. Unfortunately not everything was removed and a second operation was necessary. Besides, the lump was definitely breast cancer and the doctor wanted to remove the whole breast. But I could not agree with that. During the second surgery they also wanted to remove a gland in my arm-pit and look for bad tissue. If there was bad tissue in it they wanted to operate the whole arm-pit and remove all the glands. 

On December the 31st I had an appointment with the surgeon. We spoke about all the possibilities and alternative operations to save the breast. In the mean time there were photo’s made of my liver, lungs, heart, kidneys etc. In the conversation with the surgeon concerning the result of the operation he told me that they removed 1 cm extra tissue in my breast and the sentinel nodes. However, the surgeon had a good and a bad message. The good message was: the breast is clean now, they had removed all further cancer cells. The bad message was: the sentinel node had tumors in it, so they wanted to remove all the lymph nodes under my arm. They want me ASAP for a new operation. Then I told him, sorry but not so soon, because I was very sick after the last operation. Also I asked him for a CT-scan "before" the operation. Then he said, well that is the worst scenario, but I told him that I wanted to be realistic because if they find tumors in other parts of my body, I don't want to have the arm-surgery at all. Then his question to me was: "are you a doctor?". I told him: "no, why do you ask?" "Well", he said, “you do know a lot about the matter and you know what you want and what not." I told him that I had read a lot about it and that I had made my decisions what to do. He told me that it is not common to have people who are so involved in what they want and he said: "I like your attitude."

At the end of January 2004 I had a nuclear scan of the bones. After hearing the results I spoke with the surgeon and told him that I did not want them to remove all the lymph nodes under my arm. So, no third operation would take place. I would only go to the radiation therapy. The surgeon told me the outcome of the regional deliberation between all oncologists about my case. The result was that there has to be chemo therapy after radiation. So I had to go to the hospital for chemo for 5 weeks. I asked the doctor if it is possible to have a few weeks rest between radio and chemo. So, what to do now? I had to see Dr de Graaf in the Hospital about the chemo therapy. And I was not happy at all because how was I to manage the already booked holidays with Johanna in Scotland? If I did as the doctor told me, I would be busy with therapy for so long! I had to figure out what to do. First chemo, or first radio, or no chemo at all. Then I decided to ask the Lord to make this decision for me. So I asked for wisdom and trust. Well believe it or not, the Lord does answer our prayers. I mentioned earlier that I doubted whether I should do the chemo or not. The doctor half had talked me into it. I myself was not that enthusiastic. 

Well; . . . . this was what happened. 
First of all I had to go to the dentist so I did not have time enough to phone Dr. de Graaf for a new appointment. The next day my mouth hurts so bad that I had to go to the dentist again. But first of all I tried again to phone Dr. de Graaf for an appointment, but he was not in. I told his secretary that I would phone again later. Then I decided to go to the dentist, which is an hour and a half drive from my house. They repaired my teeth and I drove back home another hour and a half and just when I got in the house the phone rings. The radio therapist from hospital called and asked me why I was going to the chemo therapy. I told him that I had serious doubts about the chemo and had not decided anything yet. Then the radio therapist told me that it was not necessary to do chemo. 

So you see, the moment I asked the Lord; “Please Lord, I do not have wisdom in this matter, please will You make the decision for me". Well, HE DID!!

On the 25th of Feb. I had radiation until the 16th of April. The Lord kept me from making mistakes and I trusted Him in all my decisions. But all the time there was a secret in my life and it became more difficult to live with every day, physically as well as emotionally and mentally. When I visited Johanna in Canada I spoke about it with her and we decided to go to Jacobs Well where Christian people wanted to help me solve the problems I had in my life. There the Lord spoke to me and told me to clean my mind so my body would be totally healed. After my return in the Netherlands it took me almost 2 months to solve this problem. In the mean time I became tired and ill. I became even mentally sick. The Lord gave me the courage to speak out and at the time I started to be obedient He started healing me mentally and physically. Now I know that the truth sets free both body and mind. Now it is clear to me that I had to become sick and go through this difficult time in order for the Lord to use this as a tool to draw me nearer to Him and make me dependent on Him. The Lord wanted to be the first one in my live and He wanted me to obey His laws so He could use me again and make me a true witness of Him. 

Magda van Bruggen
Email: magdavanbruggen@planet.nl

Philippians 4:6 and 7 
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Like my sister Johanna told me once, place this verse from the Bible on a wall in (for instance) your kitchen. Everytime you read it, it will strengthen you. It is like a prayer to remind you that only the Lord Jesus can carry you through.

Do not be fearful, but trustful. The Lord will tell you in your mind what to do. He will speak to you in His own way.